Bernard Pivot and his Questionnaire

1. What is your favorite word? I like a lot of words; some just flow from your mouth so sweetly and some are interesting mumbles of joy. I like "reconnoiter," "euphoria," and more recently "sublimation."

2. What is your least favorite word? I hate the words "mucus" and "vomit" -- yuk.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? I'm very sensual, so the things that are sensed are what turn me on the most. Isn't everything sensed, you ask? No, many of us walk around aimlessy ignoring what is around us. It's sad to see someone who isn't in awe of the rising full moon or the feel of the crisp breeze in the fall. So, for me it's sunsets and dense fog, the smell of the ocean, the melodic sychronizations that create music, the taste of caramel, the feel of water between your fingers, and sinking in to a soft sofa.

4. What turns you off? Power trips, aggressiveness, people obsessed with money, the concept of perfection.

5. What is your favorite curse word? Isn't everybody's favorite "f*ck"?

6. What sound or noise do you love? Listening to the surf is my current favorite. Also, the crackling of a fire, the silence of snow, and the rustling of leaves.

7. What sound or noise do you hate? My doggie throwing up, creaking floors above me, and people arguing or fighting.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Volcanologist for sure.

9. What profession would you not like to do? Waitressing.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I'd like him to say "Welcome" but he'll probably say, "Wrong Gates!"

What'cha wearin'?

So, now I've moved on to drunk-dirty-texting -- yes, DDT. That's me -- The DDTer. Although it does take a while to type on my little phone at a gay bar in Long Beach while doing tequila shots and dancing to Earth,Wind, & Fire. And I even punctuated correctly. :-) And it was good. ~wink~

I'm a big drunk texter, but dirty texting is a new one for me. I tried it with the ex, but he just didn't know what to do (story of my life with him!), so I've made more technologically advanced friends who are more than willing to play little games with me.




So, how many of you have dirty texted someone? And what has it led to, if anything?

The Shit-hole Blues

I deeply regret my apartment. So much so that I'm going to leave. Yes, after only one week I know that I cannot live here any longer than I have to. I'm going to start packing up my stuff (what little I brought to the place) and putting it back in storage. I'll talk to the manager in the next couple of days to see what to do, but this place is just not me.

How is this place not me, you ask? Well, let me tell you. I am not 25 years old, and not being 25 years old, I have gotten used to living quite nicely. I like clean, organized places. I like doors that close and cabinets I can reach. I like not being able to see into my neighbor's apartment through my kitchen cupboard. I like sharp edges and fresh walls. I like a tub that has never been bathed in, or at least that comes clean. I like a bathroom with a ceiling fan, not a little unsecure window I'm supposed to open after a shower. I like not having fleas. I like knowing that I don't have roaches or some other disgusting insect. I like not fearing death when I take out the trash. I like having a place to park at all times. I like not getting a parking ticket because it's Thursday. I like being able to cook, or at least boil water, without generating too much heat for my smoke/heat detector. I like a microwave, even though I will probably never use it except to make popcorn. I like seeing something other than an alley and another person's apartment outside my window. I like a general knowledge that my place reflects who I am as a person. And this is not that place.

This is the shittiest place I've ever lived -- it beats my roach-motel in college and the room without a/c in grad school. What's your shittiest place?

Dude, I'm a stereotype

As I sit here with a glass of wine in my hand, I realize that I'm a stereotype. I'm the divorced woman drinking wine like a fish -- it's even joked about on The New Adventures of Old Christine, which is one of my favorite shows.

Soanyway (one word), I still hate my apartment and I just dream about moving into my new, clean, did I say new?, place. I will have to wait a little while, but I'm getting out of this place! I just got a bite on my ankle -- I think this place has fleas or something! Ugggh. I'm gonna have to dip my dog in flea preventative before I bring her here. I can't wait to get my girl. She's so sweet. Just today I unpacked a box to find her bunny -- her favorite toy EVER -- stashed in the sweaters. Oh, and I talk to my tv -- like this commercial with Celine Dion singing under the Xmas tree and the announcer says "who wouldn't want Celine under their Xmas tree?" and I'm like, who wants Celine Dion under their tree? They must be crazy -- no one wants Celine Dion under their tree! Yeah. That's about it.

Sorry, Indy and Wombat -- not all of us think profound thoughts on a regular basis. Some of us just get drunk and blog. Actually, I do this more than drink and dial. What would that be -- drinking and blogging? Should you drink and blog???

I'm crazy

Yep, I got on Match.com. And I'm frightened. So far, I'm attractive to a guy whose photos look like he smells of mothballs and a guy who will likely stalk me from New York. This should be interesting.

Thing is, I'm totally freaked out by the concept of a "relationship" right now. I have no idea why I did this other than boredom and curiosity. Well, we'll see how long this lasts -- and if I get any pervy pics, right Wombat!?! :)

Dear Santa

I'm absolutely in love with Craig Ferguson of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Oh, he's the cutest thing ever and his wacky sense of humor is delightful. OMG, I just realized that I'm in LA and I can go see him!!! YAAAAAA! So, I don't have to just sit around and send emails to him hoping like crazy that he'll read my email on air ~ he he!

Tonight he wrote a letter to Santa that went something like this:

Dear Santa,

You might be wondering whether I've been naughty or nice this year. Well, I'll tell ya -- I've been naughty.

So, don't send any presents and go to hell you fat judgemental bastard!

Love,

Craig

Could I have written that letter, or what?!?! :)

Clarity

Sometimes you need to stop moving and just breathe in order to hear what your body and soul want and need you to do. I did that today. I just sat in my apartment all day long in quiet meditation -- not really, I was watching Firefly all day! But, my point is that I stayed in and concentrated on me today. I shopped online, purchasing some much-needed Crate & Barrel furniture and some goodies from Sur La Table. I may not be able to cook in this place yet, but it doesn't mean I can't appreciate a couple of new toys.

But in this day at home I also realized that I need to go get my little doggie and bring her here with me. I wanted to give myself some time to be alone and free of responsibility before I got her. I also thought I should be in a more stable situation, with a job and a schedule. But as I live here I just feel alone and sad without her. She brings purpose to my life. I love taking care of her. I love walking her and living my life to her wacky little schedule. I love cuddling with her and sleeping with her. She's the cutest damn thing I've ever seen and I won't spend any more time without her.

Moving on

I've unpacked some more and put together some cheap furniture and it's feeling a little more like home. Not really. But sort of. I'm struggling with this place. One minute I'm possessive over it and other minutes I cringe at it's hideousness. I'm giving myself 3 months and I'm out. Oh, and it's an asbestos building. I didn't even know they allowed people to live in asbestos buildings! 3 months. 3 months. 3 months. Yep, giving it 3 months and I'm moving to a nicer apartment. I can't even cook because the heat goes straight to the smoke/heat detector so it goes off even if I boil water to make tea. And I'm a cook -- I love cooking. I've ordered food for, like, two weeks now and I'm going nuts.

Then today I'm listening to the news breaks on the radio and television and the announcers continue to refer to the "Dreamgirls" opening and I can't figure out (1) what they are talking about, and (2) why it's so bloody important? And then it hit me -- I'm in LA! Ohhhh, the "Dreamgirls" opening -- okay, I get it now. I'm in LA. I keep forgetting with the Target and the Denny's and the Rite-Aid. It seems like a normal town, and then I get these knocks on the head that remind that it's not a normal town! I love this place -- it's wack-ass here.

Last night I had another one of "those" conversations with the ex. In a nutshell: he sabotaged our marriage and made it impossible for me to stay and now he misses me and regrets letting/making me leave and he cries every time we talk and it's just sad -- but I don't have the energy to listen or even care anymore. I'm not heartless, I'm just tired of doing this. I'm done. That's the real reason I moved -- I had to get away, far away, from the ex. He's too much trouble and I need to move on. So, as for moving on . . .

Great friends, great conversation, great food and drinks -- that was my weekend and I had a really nice time. While my apartment isn't the greatest, I still love living here and I'm looking forward to the future -- whatever it may hold.

Urge for crying

This morning I awoke to a beautiful day. I'm in my new apartmentand I'm slowly moving my stuff in and making it mine. However, I've been on the verge of tears for days now. I stifled them for awhile because I didn't want to mess up my make-up and puff my eyes. Then my excuse was that i had too much to do to cry. Then I had to drive to California. Then I had to deal with the movers, etc. But at some point, the excuses are irrelevant and you just need to break down and cry. I tried to cry last night, but the tears just would not come. This morning I watched the SG-1 episode where Janet Fraser was killed. Then in doubt, watch tv. I cried and cried and sobbed and sobbed. It's a good episode, but not that good! These were tears of sadness over the end of my marriage, the end of an era, the loss of safety, security, and stability, and the loss of a best friend. I cry for all of these reasons and more. And I cry for the future -- will I find a job? That I like? Will I fall in love? Will I be alone? Am I too old? Am I damaged goods? Will anyone love me again? Have I ever been loved? There are many reasons to cry and there is a definite need to cry. But I have to balance it and I must cry when I need to -- not all the time.

Escape from LA

How to test your space -- sit or view it in the dark or near darkness to feel it flow and move over you. If you like what you feel, then it's right. I say this as I am sitting in the dark listening to Soundscapes on my stereo. The feeling of ambient music with my space is perfect. I know what I have to do to make it work and I'll go find what I need to do it. I really like this quirky little apartment.

If you ever need to escape where you are, you need not go far -- just to your local Denny's. Trust me, when you enter a Denny's you will feel like you are in the netherworld that is the chain restaurant. Not just any chain restaurant, mind you, but one of the most sanitized, non-descript, and yet friendly (if you're nice) chains around. I've never had a bad experience in a Denny's. And today was no different.

What do your snacking habits say about you? I'm not sure, but I think mine say that I'm spoiled. When I really want a snack, I break out the Carr's crackers and chev. I love goat cheese and it's just perfect with a table water cracker. Mmmmm. It sounds so good, I think I'll go make some.

I can't believe how chilly it is at night here. I had no idea. I'm glad I have good pj's! And now I have my pillows and bedding so I'll be cozy. Last night, since I didn't have my stuff yet and I didn't want to stay another night in a hotel, I actually slept with a moving blanket over me. Yes, this is tragic, but true. It was new, but it was still one of those blue moving blankets. I kept laughing whenever I pulled it up to me. Crazy!

Moving in, finally

Last night I went to the Newport Center mall and oogled some home furnishing stores. And also some doggies -- this mall lets you bring your pooch. It's great! As soon as Gypsy comes down here, we're gettin' dolled up and going to the mall!

I slept in my new place last night for the first time and learned a few things. First, I liked it. It's comfortable and cozy and my stuff is just going to make it more "homey." Second, I think my refrigerator is possessed by alien lifeforms. There are some very strange sounds coming from this thing. And third, the guy/girl upstairs is up creaking the floors all freaking night long. I have no idea what they are doing, but it's annoying. Oh, and fourth, that parking totally sucks here AND that Thursday is street cleaning day and you can get TWO tickets for parking violations on this day. Welcome to Long Beach.

And then we have the joys of sleeping on a sofabed. Actually, there really aren't any except for fantasizing about my next bed. And speaking of furniture, I need tables and lamps and stuff. Must go shopping!

Just to interject -- men in uniform are delightful. What is it about the uniform that makes men look so irresistable?

Okay, sorry about that -- anyhow, my boxes arrived today and were put in storage where I was able to unpack a few and bring some of my stuff to the apartment. Now it's starting to feel like home. And I'm starting to figure out what I need to do to make it work. It's a quirky space.

And what did I have for dinner? Cold pizza. I love being single. Not that I couldn't have had cold pizza for dinner while married, but I wouldn't have, you know? And not that I want to have cold pizza for dinner every night, but I can if I want to. Does that make sense?

Oh, and to cap my night off, I rented Star Trek: First Contact and watched it while I unpacked in my tiny apartment with my gargantuan television. Delightful. :)

Coming together

It's starting to come together -- the apartment is clean and my sofa arrived this afternoon. Then I got my first piece of mail and it was a Christmas card from a friend (thanks EC!). And I realized this afternoon why I wasn't receiving any email -- the account was turned off (duh!) -- so I've been creating a new email address and importing the old addresses, etc. I realized after the sofa was delivered that there is absolutely no room for 77 boxes. So, I called and got a storage unit and now I have to persuade the movers to take most of the boxes there. Hopefully some $$ will help in the process.

Now, I'm just waiting on the movers. I hate waiting -- waiting sucks.

Oh, we had a lovely marine layer today. The fog was eery last night and it was unusually cool for 76 degrees today. I love this weather -- this is certainly the best time to move to LA.

Drunk yet?

Day four:
So, today was fun-filled and exciting. Not really, but it was filled with the usual crazy of moving. I did walk the beach today and I got to see just about every element of life you can. That's certainly LA for ya! I'm excited to get my stuff tomorrow so I'll finally feel like I live here. I still need tables and lamps and a laundry basket (which I keep forgetting). I also need a fan, but since it's December nobody is selling them.

Okay, seriously, who the f*ck came up with the cartoon mucus??? If I have to see that again, I'm going to scream! Ugggh.

Anyhow . . . should you drink alone? hmmmm -- I say it's okay. As long as it's not a constant and perpetual thing, you know?

I love Target -- how is it that you can spend a fortune at Target? Every time you go? It's crazy!

I walked behind two Tibetan Monks today and felt the calm that Buddhism and the Dalai Lama always give me. I need to find a meditation center and soon. Much needed.

Okay, I'm actually too drunk to continue forming sentences. TTFN people. :)

Moving pains

Day three. Moving can be such a pain, especially when you are doing it all alone. I'm used to a corporation moving me (us) and everything being done by other people. This move, however, I'm going it alone and it's quite an experience! One minute I'm completely irate and the next I'm pleased as punch. I think I've felt 76 emotions today.

I'm liking my place a little more. I was (well, I still am, actually) really freaked out about my apartment. It's the size of a postage stamp and kinda dingy. I'm used to really nice, upscale apartments and homes, so it's a lot to get used to. The more I scrub and clean, the more I can handle it, but I can't help but want to move. But I'm sticking with it. When I see some of the people coming in and out of this place I see that it's not filled with derelicts and losers, but normal people. I guess I just need to get used to "beach-living." :)

More to come . . .

Bienvenu!

Welcome to my new blog -- new life; new blog.

Let's see, what shall I post? How about what happened tonight. So, I'm new to LA and it's already interesting! Tonight I went to dinner and sat behind the girls from Laguna Beach -- I kid you not. Actually, I am exaggerating, but it's so close it's irrelevant. They actually spelled P-A-R-T-Y instead of just saying the word and "did you make-out with him??? Cool!!!" It was very entertaining. And I think they were in their twenties -- whatever! (~wink, wink~) And then they discussed which of their friends is more "butch." Okay . . . ??? Then, the girl with the most annoying voice dissed a friend for having "like, such an annoying voice. I hate it!"

But I did find a good Chinese restaurant, so I'm happy.